


i'd do anything to miss you again

by one_sad_frog



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Could be seen as romantic or platonic, Dream Smp, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Karl Jacobs-centric, M/M, Protective Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Recreational Drug Use, Romantic Fluff, Smoking, Time Travel, Time Travelling Karl Jacobs, bee cum, dont ask
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:33:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29872641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_sad_frog/pseuds/one_sad_frog
Summary: Karl knows too much.It’s such a simple statement, and in a way, it’s nowhere near enough to encompass what he goes through. But at the same time, it really is just that. Knowing too much.Karl knows how the world will end, and when, and how to stop it. He knows that he will die, and that his death will prevent the apocalypse. He knows that he has a job, and yet here he is.
Relationships: Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26
Collections: TWB Valentine's Event [2021]





	i'd do anything to miss you again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Literal_Multifandom_Trashcan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literal_Multifandom_Trashcan/gifts).



> lovingly titled "karl needs a hug ft. stoner sapnap" in my google docs, here it is. 
> 
> i wrote (and rewrote like four times) my valentines fic and then forgot to post it, and then i reread it and hated it so i speedran this and here we are ASDFGHSJ i am. so sorry. hadley was so patient and sweet with me the whole time, they're so lovely :D this fic was so hard to write and i dont know why but it's HERE
> 
> TW// non-graphic use of weed

Karl knows too much.

It’s such a simple statement, and in a way, it’s nowhere near enough to encompass what he goes through. But at the same time, it really is just that. Knowing too much.

Karl knows how the world will end, and when, and how to stop it. He knows that he will die, and that his death will prevent the apocalypse. He knows that he has a job, and yet here he is.

See, Karl isn’t immortal. He’s no deity, no god, no higher power. He’s just a boy with- quite literally- the weight of the world upon his shoulders, and he thinks his collarbone is beginning to crack. Shoulder blades twisted, contorted painfully, stuck in an infinite limbo of morality, balancing upon the point of a pin. And he knows that he cannot love. He cannot have a normal life; no childhood, no reckless teenage years, no peaceful retirement. He has messed up before, and he paid the price.

Because Karl knows, but he also forgets.

Every single time he has failed to save the world, he starts again. But his memories are retained, stretched across every version of him that’s ever existed, and it takes a toll on him. He will know every gruesome detail of how all of his loved ones will die, and he cannot remember their names. This is why he cannot love. He’s doomed to live for everyone but himself, quite literally tearing himself into pieces for a world that doesn’t love him back. He should stop, he thinks, on the days when he’s especially tired. Why should he have to pay the price for the world’s mistakes? 

But at the same time, he can’t. And it’s all Sapnap’s fault. No matter how many times he reminds himself that he cannot love, he finds himself falling for him. No matter the timeline, the year- past, present, or future, some version of Sapnap finds his way into Karl’s pitiful life. Whether his name is James, Mason, or Rash (that had been a weird timeline), there was someone who just- was him. Maybe they had the same face, same eyes, same dimples when they smiled. He could just tell, every single time. And keeping all this from the only person Karl had left was ruining him.

Which is how he finds himself with his back pressed into the rough shingles of his roof, the moon dipping lower and lower in the sky, spilling his guts to his stoned fianceé.

“That’s just- that’s such bullshit, man. I know no matter how high I get I’ll never even begin to know what it’s like, but I- I know you. And I know that you don’t deserve this world. This- this fucked up, shitty shell of an earth. I don’t deserve you- none of us do, Karl, I just- god, I love you, and I know you can’t love me, and I know I shouldn’t love you because it’s destroying you. You- you lose your memories every time you mess up, right? Split across all the other Karls?” Karl gives a silent nod, not wishing to interrupt the other’s spiel.

“And I- I just- I know you’ve messed up for me. Intentionally or not, you’ve lost yourself for me, you’re killing yourself for me, and I just- I just can’t fucking take that. I can’t watch you ruin yourself for- for someone like me.” 

Even when he’s angry and blazed out of his mind, Karl can’t help but think, distantly, how much he loves Sapnap. He’s sitting up, joint held loosely between his fingers in one hand as the other finds purchase in his hair, chipped black painted nails tugging harshly at ashen locks. He talks as animatedly as ever, waving the cigarette around as he talks. Karl reaches up and gently pulls his hand from his head, intertwining their fingers and rubbing small circles over Sapnap’s calloused knuckles.

“Sap, dear, look at me. Look at me.” Wide, bloodshot eyes meet gentle gray, and Sapnap’s face loosens ever so slightly. “I love you because I love you. It’s not your fault. Never has been, never will be. And who cares if the real world is fucked? You’re my world, Sappy. You’re all I’ll ever need. And no matter what, I- you know I’d go through hell and back for you, babe. And it’d be worth every fucking second.”

And with that, Sapnap’s shoulders slump and he leans into Karl. “Thanks, love. I needed that. And I can practically hear the cogs in your brain turnin’, I know it must have been hard to tell me. I’m not mad at you. Now, enough of this emotional garbage, because the entire time we were talking, I couldn't stop wondering if honey is bee cum, so. Discuss.”

Karl bursts out laughing, his signature giggle ringing through the clear night sky. He cradles sapnap’s head gently, carding his fingers through his hair, tracing shapes upon his forehead, smoothing worry lines with the pad of his thumb. 

“There’s the Samsung Refrigerator I know and love. You know, sometimes I wonder how the fuck you’re still alive, and then I realize it’s because of me, so you’re welcome for that. Where did the idea of bee cum even come from? Do you think bees cum honey like- like when they fuck? What in god’s name is wrong with you, my sapling?”

And Sapnap just smirks, his eyes half closed and smoke cascading from his mouth. “So many things, darling. And how am I supposed to know what bees do? Those tiny fuckers are up to something, I'm telling you.”

Karl just sighs, the ghost of a smile dancing on his lips, and the sun peeks over the treeline, warm, golden light chasing away the stars. Sapnap keeps explaining his bee cum theories, teasing pet names accenting every other sentence, and the chill of the night air seeps out of his bones, and Karl thinks that this is the world he fights for.

**Author's Note:**

> bee cum B)
> 
> THIS LOOKED SO LONG IN DOCS AND HERE IT LOOKS TINY WHAT IS THIS


End file.
